It was more than 2 weeks since I left the hospital. I’m healed physically but not completely. My quick 38-hour confinement has brought tons and tons of questions to which only God can answer. The pain I felt gradually eases as my supportive friends and families continue to comfort me.
Reminiscing the incidents from ER to Rm 274 and from OR to the recovery room, I almost wanted to pinch myself to wake up from that nightmare. One minute I’m happy as a bee, the next minute I found myself in a hospital bed with those needles and medicines while seeking each one’s eyes for answers if I can still save my baby.
I was able to accept our loss after hearing other women’s stories. Some have worse cases than mine. One even shared her ordeal – 5 gestations with only 2 successful pregnancies and 8-month bed rest with heavy bleeding in each 5 pregnancies.
What happened seems like a dream – a dream so vivid that can sometimes bring tears in my loneliness. Why? How? When? It just happens with no specific reasons. MJ just slipped out into the bedpan as I peed – as simple as that.
sorry to hear about your pain Erisa, I perfectly understand where you are coming from, I can not imagine how painful it is for an expecting mom to lose one child. As is always the case, emotional healing comes later than the physical. I wish you well.